I reached out to you – because it was all my fault. We are where we are because of the way I think. My faith, when it is needed most, suddenly disappears and that is only part of the problem. My lack of encouragement and support when it is vitally important to come out and shine, totally disappeared. I failed you and I failed myself.
I retreated to a habitual mode of thinking – where practical thoughts flood my mind – and all the ways I can be negative, come dancing out of me like the Zombies in Michael Jackson’s epic video, “Thriller.”
Except this dance is not entertaining. But it’s scary alright. This is purely an example of reverting back to some old well worn, familiar way of behaving – at the exact moment, when the present moment threatens my belief system, my hopes, my dreams, my thinking I knew the most important things about you.
I reached out to you – and it didn’t fix a thing.
I reached out to you – and felt so foolish for doing just that.